As the smoke clears, i'll realize the loss

by Habits

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released May 21, 2013

recorded at Bayroot studio
mixed and mastered by Jay Maas at Getawayrecording

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Habits Kiev, Ukraine

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Track Name: the smoke
[instrumental]
Track Name: untitled
forever lost

i wake up screaming how i could've been
so fucking careless and let it all rust
sometimes the feelings, they never meant to end
one mistake can swallow your trust

so i roam beneath the city lights
thinking what was done and all the fights
of battles that i've seen within
of all the demons crawling under my skin

and when the last rooftop shall fucking fall
maybe then i will realize
the price of all of those homes
that we have built inside of our hearts

so i roam beneath the city lights
thinking of what was done and all the fights
of battles that i've seen within
of all the demons crawling under my skin


we're so lost within' these walls
that we've built inside our homes
it's like i'm cursed to roam blindly
the dismal trap has always found me

so many times i've seen my world
falling apart and turning cold
so many times i've seen my goals
slipping away with the setting sun


say goodbye

say goodbye

this grain of regret is filling my veins
and i can't forget the times we've had
this grain of regret is filling my mind
there's no escape i'm burning inside

say goodbye to all the good times

say goodbye because they never last

they just never last.
Track Name: of misery
this spark has turned to flame
and my heart went ablaze
and in the moment the smoke is all what's left
of this arson

when you're young there's nothing more
than to be brave and to explore
now you aspire to adult goals
but nothing
nothing has ever changed and all of this is
just illusion

every time i pass this homes i look into the window striving to see
your reflection in the mirror 'cause sometimes it means a world to me
and if i could i'd pass through all of this once again
'cause the moments of solace they mean much more than misery

than misery
those times
your eyes
mean so much more

than misery
your touch
your face in this crowd

when time makes its call leaving old friends behind
faces fade away and i don't know are we selfish or just blind
these relations are so fragile that it hurts to know
people that you used to love are gone and washed away by this flow

by this flow

all of the moments that you gave me
brought me to life
all of the times you looked my way
all of this
led to demise

your precious self you gave me

and i will always remember
that fire in your eyes

all of the times i've been alone
feeling empty in a broken home
i've been drowning my grief in this bottle


there's a reason why i drink
take your grief and let it sink
this words they mean nothing
without your actions

my past it haunts me
but i'll never be more afraid (of anything)
than of this monument
of broken dreams called "today"


this city sleeps
but i'm awake
still searching for the answers
those words and what they meant

we all hide in our castles
afraid to have a contact
locking in ourselves
or building this pretty picture

--
this city sleeps
but i'm awake
still searching for the answers
those words and what they meant

so this is how it always ends
the taste of wine and last embrace
on and on and on again
always keep your promises

this is the end my friend.
Track Name: of routine cycles
every day is much the same
i'm counting hours tryin' to escape
the reality of this solitude i've trapped myself in
dying to live
suffering to love

no more
no more
no more
i keep repeating this

no more
no more
no more
every fucking day


i walk this hollow streets
rose petals beneath my feet
this burning sun
has never smiled to me
no calm in all-time storm
and i just, i just can't learn

all you forked tongues out there
i wanna see you return to hell
and i'm not being self-important
i just treat you
treat you all the same
who fuckin' cares
about look or the hair
stop drinking my blood
i think you've had enough


can't crush these walls
but we may find the doors
that will lead us to the great unknown
maybe next one will lead me straight to your heart

now tell me
will i see you standing
over next door


can you trust me again?

please don't lock this door...in my fucking way.
Track Name: of wrong moves
let me tell you a story
of love and hate, fear and lust
of brothers breakin' vows, tearing their trust
these stories are never the same
and every misery comes out with her name

these dark times have put me to the test
i failed in many ways having nothing left
when the weight of the world is falling down on you
on you
there's nothing much that you can do

neck deep in guilt
burnt by the sorrow

and in the end
i won't lie and won't pretend
'cause i've betrayed one of the best
now i'm paying the price

doesn't matter what i do
these words mean shit to you
this bond of greatest kind
i've lost yours and blew mine

'cause i've defined the price
for a friend's back knife
now the greatest deep embraced me
and i'm the only one to blame
so if you have a good friend
make sure you hold on to him
and don't make the wrong moves
just like i did

and now your voice has fade
but in my head it still resonates
and now we haven't spoke for days
but in my head your voice still resonates

i'm going to miss you.
Track Name: the loss
when the morning comes and i wake up
suddenly i realize
that the best moments of my life have passed
they just died

and in such moments of despair i can see no other way
nothing comes into my head and the silence is deafening
so i sit back and i watch as the years go by
i'm not the same and you're not the one

and in such moments of despair i can see no other way
nothing comes into my head and the silence is deafening
these black clouds have swallowed me whole
and i try
i try to run back to my home

but where the home is
if you fucking know
then i will call you the lucky one
and i'll try to let you go

the heart, the ache
where you've died or where you've stayed
these moments rush into my head
and i don't seem to understand

when the smoke clears i'll realize the loss
will you remember me when this curtain fucking falls
as the smoke clears i'll realize the end
will you remember me my friend


i never wanted to live this way
i never wanted to end this way
i never wanted to become the man you hate

you wear camouflage but i still can see your eyes
i burn my fingers just to have one more last touch
and i keep telling to myself this time will be the last
but i am falling through the days though i'm doing my best

for every moment that we have shared
these words will show the way i cared


forever thankful i will carry you in my chest
will you remember me in the very end
as the smoke clears i'll realize the loss
will you remember me when this curtain fucking falls.